Dare to Live Without Limits Patience

You're driving home from work with 40 miles of highway ahead of you. Wanting to get home as soon as possible, you weave in and out of traffic doing 70 or maybe 75 mph rather than the 65 mph the rest of the traffic is traveling. How much time will you save? Zipping along at 75 mph saves you a whopping 5 minutes compared to 65 mph.

What are the costs? It takes much more focus and produces more stress and tension to weave in and out of traffic. And should some unsuspecting motorist happen to block your path, your frustration level rockets. Safety considerations or the risk of getting a ticket are some additional "benefits".

Then what do you do with your extra 5 minutes once you get home? You might sit down in front of the TV and do nothing to unwind. Perhaps you're so tense and irritable that you snap at your spouse and kids. Is it worth it?

At the grocery store, it's always your line that seems to move the slowest. Then, as you're about to get to the cashier, the person in front of you has a pricing problem and a manager is summoned. You can feel the stress and frustration building inside you. It takes at least an extra 8 minutes before you finally check out.

Now you are in a bad mood and ready to tear into anyone that gets in your way. Why? Because you had to wait an extra eight minutes.

Many minor annoyances pop up each day that you hadn't planned on. Such is life. There's no way for you to eliminate them. But there is a sure-fire way to attract them: have no patience, a short fuse and no tolerance. On the other hand, you can learn to adjust your reaction to these irritations so that they aren't so draining.

Flexibility and patience are inseparable. Try to break a blade of grass by hitting it with a stick. The grass moves out of the way without any damage. Now hit a pane of glass. The glass shatters. A person with a low breaking point is like the glass.

How can you develop patience? When annoyances occur, react with "Oh well, no big deal." Look at unplanned and unexpected delays as an opportunity to develop yourself. It's found time, not lost time.

Be creative in utilizing your found time. You can use the extra time for thinking, an activity you can do anywhere. Think about solutions to problems or challenges you are facing. Think about your goals and strategies to achieve them. Think about aspects of yourself that you can improve. Carry reading material so that if you are delayed in waiting rooms, train stations, airports or anywhere else you have something to do of interest.

If you spend a lot of time in your car it's inevitable that you will be caught in traffic. Use your driving time to listen to books on tape or CDs. You can select fiction or non-fiction, on virtually any topic or genre. In this manner, your driving time is transformed into a personal enrichment session. Now when you get stuck in your car it becomes an opportunity for growth.

Spend unexpected "down time" doing something you feel is worthwhile and you'll eliminate the temptation to become impatient and frustrated.

Bryan Golden is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com. He is also the author of the book "Dare to Live Without Limits."