What would Teddy do?

More and more these days, as the world turns topsy-turvy, I find myself asking, "WWTRD?" — What would Teddy Roosevelt do?

How would Teddy Roosevelt handle it if an American citizen were locked up in the Sudan for teaching a classroom of 7-year-olds who had named a stuffed bear Muhammad? Even forgetting about Roosevelt's interest in making sure that all such bears should be named Teddy, we can assume he would see the absurdity of the situation, which actually exists today for a British woman. Would TR let the woman suffer 40 lashes of the whip as originally intended by the "court"? Would he even allow her to remain in jail for the 15-day sentence while mobs roamed the streets outside with swords demanding her head?

And what would Roosevelt do about Osama bin Laden? How would he react to the death and destruction at the Twin Towers, just a few short miles from his birthplace in the Gramercy neighborhood of Manhattan? Would he be more concerned about offending Muslim sensibilities or more concerned about getting the killers no matter how hard it was or how long it took?

You don't even have to ask what TR would think about illegal immigration. He as much as told us in a letter to the American Defense Society in 1919:

"In the first place we should insist that the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us. He shall be treated on an exact equity with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace or origin.

"But this is predicated upon the man's becoming an American and nothing but an American. There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American but something else also, isn't an American at all.

"We have room for but one flag, the American flag, and this excludes the red flag which symbolizes all wars against liberty and civilization, just as much as it excludes any flag of a nation to which we are hostile.

"We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language… and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

It is not too hard to imagine that Roosevelt would also expect immigrants to our country to follow the rules and regulations set up for them, thus not tolerate illegal immigration. Why exactly, after all, should we tolerate illegality in anything?

Of course, that is mere idle speculation, because Teddy Roosevelt could not exist today. His outspoken, some would say politically incorrect, manner; his racial Darwinism; his belief in the supremacy of civilization over barbarism; his willingness to use force to accomplish his goals — all of these would have disqualified him from a life of public service.

Even his time as a war hero would have worked against him. If it had occurred in this decade, the Spanish-American War would have been known as Bush's Blunder, and Roosevelt's participation would have been subject to endless congressional hearings to find out why he had not respected the enemy sufficiently. The Rough Riders unit he headed up would be considered roughly the equivalent of the so-called Blackwater mercenaries of the Iraq war, except they didn't get paid so well; they just liked to shoot and carry on.

But Roosevelt, nonetheless, remains an icon of the untamed American spirit — a man born of Eastern wealth, he had gone West after the tragedy of losing his mother and wife to disease on the same day in 1884. In a few short years in the Badlands of North Dakota, a stone's throw from Montana, young Roosevelt sponged up all the energy and excitement of the Wild West that he could. He was a rancher, a deputy sheriff, a raconteur and a big-game hunter.

Then he took that experience, went back east after a disastrous winter wiped out his herd of cattle, and wrote an influential four-volume history called "The Winning of the West." A few years later, he began his career of public service in earnest. He worked on the U.S. Civil Service Commission, was president of the board of the New York City Police Commissioners (where he played a key role as the reformer of a corrupt system) and then became assistant secretary of the Navy, where he prepared the Navy for the Spanish-American War. It was during this time that he made one of the many statements which would disqualify him for public office today: "I should welcome almost any war, for I think this country needs one." Under modern rules of etiquette, a country cannot need a war unless it is in the throes of a fascist dictatorship (also known as the Bush presidency in certain circles).

It was the Spanish-American War which cemented Roosevelt's reputation for being a man of action, as well as a man of ideas. It also catapulted him to a successful campaign for governor of New York in 1898 on the Republican ticket. His penchant for reform and rooting out corruption apparently made him unpopular with the Republican machine in New York and he was thus named as President McKinley's running mate in 1900. McKinley won in a landslide against William Jennings Bryan, but was assassinated late in 1901, elevating Roosevelt to the presidency.

It was there that he exercised his greatest influence on our nation and the world, accomplishing much through the sheer power of his will and according to the virtues of his own moral code. Indeed, it is impossible to imagine a modern president accomplishing anywhere near as much as Roosevelt did.

Quite soon, he developed a reputation as a "trust-buster," taking on corporate tycoons who had amassed wealth and power through the establishment of monopolies that prevented competition. He also pushed Congress to establish a system to regulate food and drugs which essentially is still in place today. It was, of course, also Roosevelt who promoted the establishment of the U.S. Forest Service and set aside 194 million acres for national parks and nature preserves. Such treasures as Glacier National Park owe their legacy of preservation to Roosevelt's foresight and love of nature.

It was perhaps in foreign affairs, however, that Roosevelt made his greatest impact of all. Certainly changing the world forever was the construction of the Panama Canal, a project made possible by willpower, money and a little bit of leverage to get Panama to declare its independence from Columbia. Of course, today we would be told that such a project is impossible, just as a border fence is impossible, but Roosevelt did not let impossibility stop him.

That stubbornness may also be how he won the Nobel Peace Prize, thanks to his bully negotiations to end the Russo-Japanese War in 1905. This conflict and a later conflict between France and Germany, which Roosevelt also helped to defuse, could easily have escalated into a world war.

It is well known that Roosevelt's motto was to "talk softly but carry a big stick." In such a manner, he was willing to use American force to project our power on the world without necessarily have to fight to do it. Most notably he greatly increased the size of the Navy and sent a fleet around the world to be gawked at by our friends and foes. He also established that the threat of force was sometimes enough, as in his standoff with the Moroccan renegade Ahmed ben Mohammed el Raisuli, which was popularized in the film "The Wind and the Lion."

Likewise Teddy declared that American power could be used to intervene in Latin American countries, but he was wise enough to not bite off more than he could chew. When elements in the Dominican Republic were seeking annexation in 1904, he said, in typically colorful fashion, "I have about the same desire to annex it as a gorged boa constrictor might have to swallow a porcupine."

The fact of the matter is that Teddy Roosevelt could not exist anymore, and neither could Teddy Roosevelt's America. We are neither smart enough, strong enough, or daring enough to do what is right no matter the cost. So although we may ponder, "What would Teddy Roosevelt do?" — we are stuck with the same old question as always, "What are we going to do?" and the same sad answer, "Vote for the lesser of two evils and hope for the best."

Frank Miele is managing editor of the Daily Inter Lake. E-mail responses may be sent to edit@dailyinterlake.com