No, it is not only men who are controlling

I am addressing the response to the letter about domestic violence in a February issue of The Valley Press. Of course it is not only men who are controlling and abusive. Statistics indicate that women are the abusers in about 5 percent of all cases. Exact stats can be obtained from the local organization you refer to SCCFF, as well as NOW (National Organization for Women) to name only two. Any mental health facility can provide those statistics, as can law enforcement agencies. One could argue that because 5 percent of abusers are in fact women, both genders should be referenced when discussing the issue of domestic violence.

In answer to the question of why the article was “so gender specific”: given that (backed up by actual statistics) most domestic violence is perpetrated by men and most controlling is done by men and most rapes are committed by men and most pedophiles are men and most cheating is done by men - most of all violent crimes are committed by men. It just stands to reason that “he” is the pronoun used. In the end it probably doesn't matter whether we reference it as “he” or “she” or “he/she,” the facts are the same. Men do in fact commit most crimes of violence. If the statistics bore out that most crimes of violence were committed by women, would you write the article and reference the perpetrators as “he”? I think you would probably reference the perpetrator as “she.”

As to the SCCFF having a “rather large budget” - what does that have to do at all with how perpetrators of violent crime are referenced? If the coalition is for families and if you were to go to them and tell them that your wife is abusing you and battering you and your children, the fact that they have a substantial budget would certainly be in your best interest. With a substantial budget, they could better help you. With a substantial budget they can better help all those in need and provide education about domestic violence. Even in the absence of abuse, you or anyone, could use the organization as an information source. Violence and abuse are problems of all of society and everyone should be better educated about them. They probably have materials to read and to view and classes to take. There is so much to know and understand about violence and abuse. You sound like you only have some of the knowledge that I am sure you could use. They could provide a good education on the subject.

Pam Smith

Plains