Yes Ma'am!

Melissa Oyer

It was my second week of living and working here that I had a meeting with a lady whom I respectfully said yes ma’am to.

It was not taken as I was accustomed to because she abruptly snarled at me and told me to not call her ma’am.

She commented that I was insinuating that she was ‘old’. I was confused.

Yes, I’m sure my southern born and raised reasoning never even allowed the thought to cross my mind that those words that flowed so freely from my lips could possibly be degrading.

I was simply answering a question or responding to what someone said.

I say it to men and women of all ages, not just those older than me.

If you call the newspaper office and ask me anything, more times than not I will respond with a yes ma’am without even answering the question first. It’s just second nature.

When I was just a little girl, my mother would pinch my arm if I didn’t answer every question ‘yes ma’am’ or ‘no sir’.

And I most certainly wouldn’t dare saying ‘yeah’ to anything unless I wanted to be blatantly ignored by my mother or looked at with a straight face by anyone else.

 It wasn’t that we were taught to say it to impress people, be degrading towards them, or even to mock someone, it was merely to not sound ignorant. It was a respect thing.

And in my 20 plus years of life, the only time I had ever received backlash from saying it was when I moved to Montana.

The funny thing is, most people that ask me where I am from do so immediately after I say those words.

I guess its not only the southern drawl I tend to have that gives away my sourthern roots.  

And I am not trying to prove my case that everyone in these parts should say it too, I am just trying to explain the reason why I say it and the reason why it shouldn’t matter to you when you hear it.

So here’s the deal I am prepared to make, I can’t promise you that I will stop saying it. I can’t promise you that I will even attempt to stop saying it.

But I can promise you that once you get used to the sound of it, there’s a nice little ring to it that will make you feel respected, not insulted.