Choices for Change

Coping Choices -

Dear Choices: Part 4 - What other factors are important in helping your

child be orderly? Disorganized

Dear Disorganized: This is the last in a series of four parts. We have

identified five topics important in parenting. Please see earlier papers or

find them online at vp-mi.com.

1) Establish Routines

2) Be Consistent

3) Set Your Child Up for Success

4) Instill Good Habits

5) Help Your Child See the Rewards, Both Short and Long Term.

Set Your Child Up for Success: Young children thrive on 'helping you'.

They can perform little tasks well if they learn that everything has a

'home' and they need to be quick to put items back in their place. They can

be encouraged to put one toy away before getting another out. Where

practical, install low clothes rods, hooks, and shelves within reach of your

child for their clothes, books, and toys. Their bathroom should have a

drawer or a shelf for their personal items.

Instill Good Habits: A habit takes 21 days to be established, be it good or

bad. If you can be consistent in helping them for three weeks, it will pay

off in years to come. Build on the routines you have already established.

Every successful business has a well-defined set policies and procedures. A

consistent system provides structure, accountability, mutual understanding

of expectations, and make work easier. Have your children help you devise a

simple set of family rules with a way to reward good behavior and penalize

bad behavior. A list of unacceptable, non-negotiable behaviors and, also a

list of desired behaviors. This can be written up and posted on the

refrigerator. Work smart, not just hard. Everything is easier if done

right away. "A stitch in time saves nine",

can be explained that everything takes half the time to do sooner rather

than later. Put the house to bed before you go to bed - 'an ounce of

evening can be worth a pound of morning'. School bag, shoes, coats, clothes

laid out, helps the morning and the day get off to a good start.

Help your child see the rewards, both short and long term: As you practice

this it frees your child from hassle and frustration so they can make the

best of his skills and talents. The habits of order and organization are

transferable to any walk of life and can bring about opportunities for

success, whether at home, work, or school.

Mostly however, the benefits of an orderly life are intrinsic such as

feelings of satisfaction, fulfillment and even joy. Plant the seed, even if

your child is a brand new baby and help develop the root, and someday you

will see fruit.

Please send your questions regarding mental health, addiction,

co-dependency, finances, divorce, self-esteem, anger, parenting, grief/loss

issues, or life adjustments. Questions will be selected for the greatest

appeal for the general public and will be educational in nature. More

personal confidential questions will be responded to individually. Nancy M.

Smith, LCSW, LAC, Choices for Change Counseling, P.O. Box 622, Superior, MT

59872, 406-822-5422

nsmith@choices forchange.net