Road to recovery full of challenges

For alcoholics and addicts, the road to recovery is one that is often the hardest and longest to take. But for Donny Watson, it was a road that he was willing to walk.

“I went farther down the road than I ever wanted to,” Watson said.

Watson shared his story with a small group  in September as part of a program that Robbie Smith, DUI Task Force Coordinator, put together to honor National Recovery Month. Watson, who called himself an addict and alcoholic, was willing to share his story with the few individuals that showed up.

“It ain’t easy,” he said, “but it needs to be told.”

Watson grew up on a cow ranch and he was eight years old when he took his first drink of whiskey. He said that one of his earliest childhood memories was overdosing on cough syrup with codine at three years old. His parents split up when he was young, and Watson recalls “feeling abandoned.”

“I would work hard and my father would reward me with a beer and we’d sit around with the guys and listen to the cowboy stories,” Watson said. “I thought that was pretty cool.”

Watson admitted that from the start he loved the way alcohol made him feel. He attested that he was a shy kid growing up and also a loner.

“I drank about four shots and I wasn’t shy no more. I could be loud, I could be boisterous,” Watson said. “I found a friend in alcohol.”

Watson’s father went through a second divorce and when his dad became verbally abusive, Watson moved in with his grandparents. Though his grandfather “put the hammer down,” Watson said he would sneak alcohol when he could. During this time, he was beginning to yearn for control over people and over everything around him. A year later, he went to live with his mother.

“At that time, my sister was an alcoholic and an addict and she turned me on to smoking marijuana,” Watson said. “I figured out real soon I couldn’t afford marijuana so I worked a job long enough to get enough money to start selling marijuana.”

Selling pot was just the start for Watson and the drug opened the door to others including the one he enjoyed the most at the time, morphine. His desire to control those around them also grew and Watson said he would sit in the corner figuring out what drugs everyone wanted.

“I took advantage of everybody I could,” Watson said. “I would sit there and figure a way to get control over them. If they didn’t do what I wanted, I’d stop their dope, but I knew they’d be back.”

Watson admitted that the power meant more than the money. He described himself as having no feelings inside except anger.

“I took young kids dreams and threw them in the garbage,” Watson recalled, pausing as he reflected. “Their goals were gone because they were hooked on dope. People say drugs don’t hurt anyone and that’s a lie.”

Moving into his adult life, things didn’t change. Watson received his fourth DUI and spending some time in the county jail as well as time at a state hospital. Watson said he didn’t take it seriously, and though he abstained from alcohol for a period of time, he continued selling dope.

“My life was miserable,” Watson said. “I hated who I was.”

While hitchhiking to work, Watson was picked up by a Baptist minister after having earlier prayed that he needed something different. He was given an opportunity to work for the minister and took it, getting fired 11 times because of his nonsense.

When the minister retired, and Watson was fired for good, he started drinking again. Watson said that he was riding both sides of the fence.

“I wanted to be drunk and a pot head, but I wanted to go to church. And all I was doing was manipulating people and making them feel sorry for me,” he recalled.

But Watson’s life was about to change.

He ended up losing his best friend on Thanksgiving Day and three weeks later after joking with his sister that something like that would never happen to them because they were too smart and had been doing drugs for so long, his sister was found dead.

“I went to the morgue and seen her lying on slab...I kissed her goodbye and said, ‘I’m not going to die this way,’”

Watson decided to bite the bullet and stopped doing narcotics himself. Still, when one of his ex-wives brought him some dope, he took it. Thinking that going to a new area would fix his problems, he got a job in Mineral County.

“I thought I could just run away from my problems, take the easy way out,” Watson said.

On February 28, 2009, Watson was pulled over and received a felony dui. At first, he pled not guilty, but when he realized a year later he wasn’t going to get out of it, he pled guilty. Watson said he was given the choice of six months in the WATCH program or 13 months at Deer Lodge. Again, thinking six months would be the easiest of the choices he chose to do the WATCH program.

“That was not the easy way out,” Watson said. “It was the hardest thing I could have put myself through.”

Watson didn’t begin to really immerse himself in the program until a month or so later. After getting locked up for an altercation, Watson realized that his way was not working. Watson said that he finally surrendered to the Lord wholeheartedly.

“And I was no longer angry. I was at peace for the first time in my life,” Watson said. “I learned to hold people accountable and I demanded that people held me accountable.”

Watson moved through the phases of the treatment and when he left everyone lined up to say goodbye to him. That moment became the new “coolest thing” that had happened to him.

Watson said that it hasn’t been easy, and that every day is a way for him. If he doesn’t drink or do drugs, then he’s won a victory for that day.

“In the AA meetings, they tell you its one day at a time, but for me it’s one breath at a time,” Watson said. “But I love kicking the snot out of chemical dependency.”

Watson said that he still has triggers that make him want to reach for alcohol, but rather than focusing on reasons to drink, he looks for reasons not to drink.

“It’s a hard climb, but the view is great from where I’m at and it’s getting better,” Watson said.

In his recovery, Watson had to come to terms with his grief and his guilt for what he had a hand in and what he could have happened all those time he drove while under the influence. He said that he’d like to be a counselor and help others if he can as he’s been there. He said that he’s ready to be a solution to the problem.

“At the time, the problem was me I just didn’t realize it,” Watson said. “It’s insane to think you can do the same things over and over again and the results will be different. They won’t. I want to share my story with everyone I can.”