Food for Thought: homework battles

Do you find homework time often becomes a war zone where there is  begging, pleading, bargaining and demanding between you and your child?  Every September these battles happen on a daily basis throughout the country.

The following is a list of strategies that may be  helpful:

1. Set your expectations and stand your ground. Convey a clear message that homework is important, needs to be taken seriously, and you expect it to be done.

2. Discuss expectations about a homework routine.  Draw up a written contract and sign it with your child.  Post it in clear sight. The contract should include  a regular time and place for homework.  Scheduling should be at the same time every day in a quiet place away from distractions.

3. Turn off the TV, turn down the music and no interruptions such as phone calls.

4.  Schedule homework when you child is mentally alert. Is your child hungry, thirsty or tired?  You might want to give him/her a snack before starting or allow him/her to rest 30 minutes before s/he gets started.

5.  Be the teacher’s ally.  Don’t allow the teacher to be labeled a villain for giving too much homework.  If you have a problem, don’t complain in front of your child. Instead talk to the teacher.

6.  Review homework that needs to be completed each day.  Persuade your child to first get the tough assignments out of the way.

7.  Make sure they understand the assignments.

8.  Encourage the child to take a short break if the going gets tough.  Then after 10 minutes try again.

9.  Be firm but reasonable.  You child must know you mean what you say and is backed up by action.  By action I do not mean physical spankings.  The best action is to insist the correct thing be done.  By doing the correct thing the child learn there is no way to avoid what is right.

10.  Every day ask your child about school and what happened.  Do not accept general statements like “It’s OK.” “There is no homework.”  “The math teacher has it in for me.”  Find out what happens in every class and what your child is currently working on.

11.  Keep praising good work habits such as perseverance, diligence and effort.  Comments could include: “I’m proud of how you are not giving up” or “you have been working so hard on this paper.”

12.  Check over your child’s work by asking simple questions such as: “Did you follow the directions?” “Did you check your own work first?” “Are you satisfied with the way your work looks?”  If you child asks you to correct their work don’t try to do everything.

13.  Ask to see graded and returned homework papers. Discuss mistakes and check for understanding. 

14.  Talk to the teacher if your child is making consistent errors in one subject area.  Voice concern if homework becomes an ongoing struggle.

Remember children are responsible for doing their own homework.  A parent’s job is to support their efforts.  Getting the right answer is only part of the homework assignments.  The most important part is working through and completing the assignment. Children can actually gain a lot of satisfaction and learning from struggling to solve problems. This process produces the foundation for success in life. 

Dr. Leta A. Livoti Ph.D., LCSW, LCPC is a psychotherapist in Thompson Falls.  She can be contacted at 827-0700.