Artist raises awareness of domestic violence

Painting, poetry and pain took on new meaning for Jane Lattus Emmert after her sister, Amy, was murdered eight years ago by an abusive boyfriend.

Rather than succumbing to the overwhelming grief she experienced as a result of her loss and allowing the man who killed her sister to take two lives, Emmert has devoted her life and her craft to spreading awareness about domestic violence by educating others. Emmert has spoken to crowds all across Montana, and as far as Knoxville, Tennesssee.

Emmert molded her emotional journal entries into a grief book entitled “You Died and I Wanted to Die Too” and she combined her artistic and poetic skills to create “Angel Cloud Art” which raises money for domestic violence awareness.

Emmert, who works with the Montana Coalition Against Domestic Violence, among others, spoke on behalf of the Sanders County Coalition For Families (SCCFF) on Tuesday night at Our First Lutheran Church in Plains, and again on Wednesday at Our Savior’s First Lutheran Church in Thompson Falls.

“I am thrilled that the people who came care about the issue and really wanted to step up their support for SCFF,” Emmert said. “The reality is the problem exists in Sanders County.”

Crystal Buchanan, the volunteer coordinator at SCCFF shared some numbers to support Emmert’s claim. Between Oct. and Nov. of 2010 SCFF reported 66 incidents including 23 victims of sexual assualt and 68 of domestic violence affecting 49 children. SCFF also received 112 hotline emergency calls and had a combined 229 nights spent in their shelter over that span.

“The biggest way we can prevent this problem or help victims is to educate the community about it,” Buchanan said. “Eventually, as more people talk about it, the social perception will shift from not talking about it to the sharing that it’s not acceptable to do.”

Emmert and Buchanan agree that one of the biggest obstacles in educating people about domestic violence is shattering their preconceptions.

“A lot of people, unfortunately, have this pre-conceived notion that victims of domestic violence are low educated or come from broken homes or are of low socio-economic status, or are of a certain ethnic background,” Buchanan said. “That’s just not the case.”

According to Emmert, there is still a stigma associated with victims of domestic violence. Rather than asking why she stays, Emmert said people should ask why he hits.

That’s what makes Emmert’s testimony so unique. Although her sister Amy was murdered by an abusive boyfriend, she did did not fit the profile of a “typical” abusee. She was 37 years old, a successful professional with a master’s degree who was raised in a loving christian home.

Emmert described a healthy relationship as one in which each partner treats the other with respect, each person has the freedom to make decisions on their own and neither one hurts or belittles the other either emotionally or physically. If your relationship doesn’t fit that criteria, you may be in an abusive relationship.

If you know someone who is, Emmert offers these three tips:

•    Stay in their life and let them know how much you care about them. Typically an abusive person will tryi to isolate their partner.

•    Point them toward local resources like SCCFF or church groups that can listen and offer options.

•    Help them to create a safety plan to escape.  

Emmert stresses that most women die as they try to leave or when they go back into a dangerous situation to get something they’d forgotten. A safety plan can be as simple as keeping a spare set of keys near the door for a quick escape if an argument escalates.

“SCCFF office has lots of resources: handouts, brochures, training and they’re working on creating support groups,” Emmert said. “There are other people out there who walk the walk and have more information. Tap into them.”

Although no offical plans have been made, SCCFF and Emmert plan to continue this collaboration on an annual basis.