Breaking free

Chris Borntreger tells story of Amish past and present gifts

PLAINS – In a little deli, a man in a hat and checkered shirt sliced meat and cheese. He stood behind the counter and greeted customers like old friends with a kind face and a story to tell.

Christian ‘Chris’ Borntreger is the manager of a town deli, a citizen of Plains and ex-Amish.

“My wife and I were born and raised Amish,” Borntreger said. “I was born in Iowa but had my school years in Missouri. Where I grew up in Missouri they were so strict you couldn’t even have a sink in the kitchen for washing dishes.”

The Amish way is a stringent lifestyle. They distance themselves from modern conveniences such as electricity and motor vehicles. Hard work is ingrained in the Amish at a young age.

Borntreger was a dairy farmer from 1952-1994. He was required to get up at 4:00 a.m. every day and the pressure of milking the cows was always on his mind.

It was not the hard work that motivated Borntreger to leave the culture he grew up with, rather it was some of the rules he could not understand or agree with. He and his wife Lydia had already been searching to leave when a final straw incident made their decision easier.

“My son had a truck that he was using to get to work and [the other Amish] told me I had to tell him he can’t stay at home,” Borntreger said. “I couldn’t do that because I didn’t know what would become of him if I rejected him…if he thought I no longer loved him.”

Borntreger told his fellow Amish men to show him where in the Bible it said trucks were forbidden. When they could not, he decided to put his love for his children above the rules.

“We are a close-knit family. We love our children and they love us,” Borntreger said. “I wanted them home with me but if they left they always have a loving home to come back to.”

Borntreger and Lydia were shunned when they refused to cast out their son. Shunning is a sort of ostracism enforced by the Amish. It was then they decided to leave the Amish community for good. Looking back, Borntreger knows he made the right decision to stick by his son.

Borntreger said the same son that he was told to shun was ordained as a minister three years ago. Without the love and support he received from his parents, things might have turned out differently.

Although it was the right decision for the Borntregers, leaving their community and way of life was not easy.

“It was definitely a big life change. It was hard because we knew we would be cut off from our families. It was hard on my wife in particular,” Borntreger said. “But after we saw clearly what we wanted then it was easier for us. We left it up to the Lord and he got us through.”

According to Borntreger, of his nine siblings only two were willing to talk to him. About half of his wife’s siblings are accepting but the rest of the family shuns them. It has been 12 years since the Borntregers handed in their horse and buggy lifestyle - but this past year one of his siblings still begged him to return.

“We were back home for a funeral and I tried to talk to my brother. He told me I had to come back to the Amish and to what our parents taught us,” Borntreger said. “I told him no way. We are happier now than we ever were before.”

Even though Borntreger and the Amish have gone their separate ways, he still has great respect for his former community.

“The Amish have a lot of good values. They have a really good work ethic and they try to do things right,” he said. “They are still my people and I still love them. I just don’t want to go back to their way of life.”

Although he left the Amish, certain things stuck with Borntreger. He has maintained the work ethic and he and his family still speak Dutch to one another. He also kept the beard.

“Married Amish men have beards. I don’t depend on it as far as salvation goes, I just don’t look right without it,” he said with a laugh.

According to Borntreger, many Amish people move around from place to place because each community is different. Some are more liberal than others so they want to find a community that suites them. Borntreger roamed along with the Amish for a long time but settled down after he left the Amish.

Borntreger has lived in Iowa, Missouri, Wisconsin, Minnesota and Kentucky but decided to settle down in Montana.

“I guess I always wanted to go west for the adventure,” he said. “Montana is my favorite state because it is more laid back and the summers here are just gorgeous.”

At first Lydia was not keen on moving so far west - but now she would not live anywhere else. Since they were married, the Borntregers have not lived in any one place more than eight years except for Plains. Chris believes they are here to stay because of the beauty of the state and his love for his current job.

“I have been at the deli for about seven years now and I love it. I love meeting people, talking to them and finding out who they are and where they are from,” he said.

Chris Borntreger is an ex-Amish, former dairy farmer turned Mennonite and deli manager. He was and is those things but above all else he is a man who loves his family and God. There have been twists and turns along the way but the destination was contentment.

“We are really happy with the choices we have made. We are blessed and thankful we got to make the switch,” Borntreger said. “Look to the Lord and go with what makes you happy.”