Visiting loved ones in care facilities over the holiday season

The holidays bring a season of good food, Christmas carols, and family gatherings, but sometimes, getting together with family can turn into an arduous chore, especially when loved ones are confined to assisted living facilities.

Family members may struggle with finding time to visit relatives who live in a home, but it’s important to overcome these barriers and visit relatives and friends who are confined to assisted living facilities. 

Mary Miller, who lives in the assisted living facility at the Mineral Community Hospital in Superior, said that it’s very important for her to get visitors. “It’s a lonesome place. It’s not home.”

Mary, who is one of only seven residents at the facility, was confined to a wheelchair two years ago because of hip problems. Her husband had passed away in 2002. She, along with her family, decided that living in assisted living was the best option for her. 

After a lifetime of living in her own home, the transition has not been an easy one. She has a large extended family with 17 relations living in St. Regis. But, with few visitors, she finds herself bored and oftentimes feels depressed. Because of failing sight, hearing difficulties and other physical problems, there aren’t a lot of activities she can do.

“Even a short visit a few times a week would be nice,” she said. 

Residents Director Denise Lommen said that visiting after breakfast is over, around 9 a.m., and before lunch is a good time to stop by. Also, in the afternoons before dinner or shortly after dinner, before 8 p.m. 

They have a living room area at the facility where family and friends can visit, or they can stay in the resident’s room. During the holidays, they have a party and invite family and friends. There’s a giving tree at the home, and people are welcome to donate gifts to residents who don’t have relations. 

Great gift ideas are items like pajamas and slippers, and personal hygiene products like body wash and lotions. 

“Calendars and talking clocks for those with vision problems are great gifts,” said Lommen. “Other things like scarves, mittens, puzzles and books, are popular. Candy isn’t a good idea because of health issues like diabetes.”

Other gift ideas include throws, photo albums, and decorative solar lights that residents can put outside their windows. 

“Knick-knacks aren’t usually a good idea, either,” said Lommen, “since residents have limited space in their rooms. Mail is also important. One patient at the facility gets cookies from her daughter every week and they are individually wrapped, so she can share them with the other residents. Cards and letters are also important and very welcomed by the residents.”

Lommen said that if a resident seems to be getting depressed, they encourage them to get involved in activities. If they see a drastic change in a resident’s personality, they notify relatives and check to see if it’s a health-related issue.

Another group of elderly people who may be forgotten are Alzheimer’s patients. Family and friends may think that because the patient doesn’t recognize or remember them, that there’s no point in visiting.

“That’s simply not true,” said Lommen, “patients may not remember their name, but if a visitor comes to see them on a regular basis, they recognize them. The patient will see their guest and smile. They recognize them as part of their lives.”

Mary Prosser, who visits the facility on Thursdays and plays the organ and sings with the residents, said that her husband suffered from Alzheimer’s.  

“Some days were good, some were bad,” she said. “The key is to be patient. Let them dictate the mood for the day.” 

Sometimes her husband didn’t know who she was and refused to give her a hug. Other days, he knew that she was his wife. 

“Eye contact is also very important,” Prosser said. “It was always an important part of our communication.”