Hospice memorial at Clark Fork Valley Hospital gives families time to reflect

More than 50 people stepped out of the chaos of the holiday season for a candlelight ceremony at Clark Fork Valley Hospital focused on sharing love for family members and friends who have died.

Julie Gannarelli, manager of Home Health and Hospice, said the Hospice Tree of Life Reception is set aside for people to focus on those they’ve lost — which can be difficult to do in the blurs of holidays leading into the new year.

“The holidays can be hard when you’ve lost someone,” Gannarelli said. “We’ve had people attend for several years. And it’s not necessarily a time of sadness, it’s more so they can remember the happy moments.”

On Dec. 7, dozens of people filtered into a room lit by a Christmas tree’s glow. As they entered the room, they were handed candlesticks as someone read aloud the names of people who had spent their last days in hospice. The room brightened as each person who heard the name of their loved one stepped forward and light their candle.

A hospice worker told the story of her father’s death — the life he had lived and how she balanced her memories with the fact he was no longer alive.

Then, others stepped forward and shared the stories of those they had lost, and the moments when their lives had overlapped. For some, it was a neighbor. For others, their memories stretched decades as a spouse or child to someone who had died.

“Just saying it out loud, it’s a way for people to heal,” Gannarelli said.

She described a woman who had attended the event last year as a widow looking at her first New Year without her husband.

“This year, she was able to voice that she had just recently been able to move on, when last year as she shared her story, you could tell she was still stuck, still grieving,” she said. “Something happened that changed her life in the last year.”

Gannarelli said watching people grow in their grief can help people just entering the process.

The memorial also included a silent auction with pieces donated by local vendors. The event raised nearly $1,000 for families in the community whose insurance doesn’t cover hospice.

“Local shops and businesses really came through to raise this money for people who need hospice but have no means to pay for it,” Gannarelli said.

The auction included gift certificates for local restaurants and shops, a homemade rocking chair and wine baskets. Some people also contributed cash donations, Gannarelli said.

At the end of the night, participants left with a Christmas tree ornament — a wooden snowflake with the words, “in loving memory.” Gannarelli said the small symbol acts as one more way for people to include the person they miss in their holidays.

“It’s different every year, but it’s something they can bring home and hang on their tree. It just becomes on of their ornaments,” she said. “And each time, I’m sure it brings back memories.”