Food for Thought: Homework Battles

With school closures many parents and children are struggling with the frustration of homework. Indeed, this time often becomes a war zone where there is begging, pleading, bargaining and demanding between parent and child.

Let’s face it, unless you have home schooled your child, most parents are not teachers.

The following is a list of strategies that may be helpful:

1. Set your expectations and stand your ground. Convey a clear message homework is important and needs to be taken seriously and that you expect it to be done.

2. Discuss expectations about a homework routine. Draw up a written contract and sign it with your child. Post it in clear sight. Place it on the refrigerator door or a posting board (closet door) in your child’s room. The contract should include a regular set time and place for homework. Scheduling should be a the same time in a quiet place away from distractions.

3. Turn off the TV, turn down the music and no interruptions such as phone calls. Take the cell phones away.

4. Schedule homework when you child is mentally alert. Is you child hungry, tired or thirsty?

5. Be available if your child has a question. Don’t do the work for him/her but lend support.

6. Be the teacher’s ally. Don’t allow the teacher to be labeled a villain for giving too much work. If you have a problem, do not complain in front of your child. Instead talk to the teacher.

7. Review what homework needs to be completed each day. Persuade your child to get the tough assignments out of the way first.

8. Make sure they understand the assignments. Make sure they have the materials needed before they start including paper, pencils, pens, computers etc.

9. Encourage the child to take a short break if the going gets tough. Then after 10 minutes try again.

10. Keep praising good work habits such as perseverance, diligence and effort. Comments could include: “I am proud of how you are not giving up” or “you have been working so hard on this paper.”

11. Check over your child’s work by asking simply questions such as: “Did you follow the directions?” “Did you check your own work first?” “Are you satisfied with the way your work looks?”

12. Ask to see graded and returned work. Discuss mistakes and check for understanding.

13. Talk to the teacher if your child is making consistent errors in one subject area. Voice concern if homework becomes an ongoing struggle.

Remember children are responsible for doing their own homework. A parent’s job is to support their efforts.

Getting the right answer is only one part of the homework assignment. The most important part is working through and completing the assignment. Children can actually gain much satisfaction and learning from struggling to solve problems.

This process produces self discipline and provides the foundation for success in life.

Good Luck! Stay Healthy! This too will pass!

Dr. Leta A.Livoti Ph.D., LCSW, LCPC is a psychotherapist practicing in Thompson Falls. She can be contacted at 827-0700.