Food for Thought: Dealing with midlife issues

In this article, I would like to help you explore the challenges and opportunities that come at midlife. You will have an opportunity to take a look at issues that are specific to the Baby Boomer generation.

Taking the time to assess how your life is going at this point can result in spiritual and emotional growth.

The Baby Boomers

The Baby Boomer generation is at midlife right now. This generation includes almost 78 million Americans born between 1946 and 1964.

They are passing through midlife in their own unique way, differently from their parents. The first Boomer turned 50 at the beginning of 1996 and the remaining 78 million have observed this anniversary sometime in 2014.

Typical Feelings

According to ”Rocking the Ages” authors J. Walker Smith and Ann Clurman and other authors like Gail Sheehy, people passing through middle age typically experience the following kinds of feelings.

Great expectations: Most boomers are beginning to recognize their own limitations. Growing up in the comfortable 1950s, the boomers learned to expect unlimited growth and endless possibilities. They believed their good luck would never end. Now that they are turning 50, 60 and 70 many are shocked to discover that there are limits to life’s possibilities.

Regret: As people reach midlife, they must face up to the loss of some of their dreams and regret the mistakes they have made. It is not easy for anyone to face the person one will never be.

Loss: At midlife, everyone has to face the loss of beauty and youth, valued by our society.

Meaning: According to Sheehy, the “universal preoccupation” of the middle years is “the search for meaning in whatever we do.” As they face the fact that time is limited, the Baby Boomers typically become even more intent on this need to analyze and search for significance.

Change: The midlife years can be a time of radical change for many people. This is the result of endless questioning and evaluation of how one has lived life thus far. Many midlife crises become mid-life meltdowns. In addition rapid changes in lifestyle brought on by technology plus the down turn of the economy has made growing older even more difficult than ever before.

Reflection: The tendency to reflect and explore can help one look for new possibilities instead of being stuck with feelings of disappointment. As you complete the following Midlife Checkup, it will help you assess your life to date.

The Midlife Checkup

My most important accomplishments are...

I am disappointed about...

I would describe the person I turned out to be as...

I want to change the following things about my self and my life...

Things I want to do before I die...

Things I have mastered..

Things I want to keep...

I want to keep these relationships...

I want to let go of these relationships..

I want to let go of these possessions...

I want to have these experiences...

I want to clean up these messes...

I want to celebrate...

I don’t ever again want to...

I want to remember...

I want to forget...

I am most proud of...

I wish I could forget about...

I wish I could do over...

I wish I had never...

I wish I had...

Readers are also free to add their own items. Answering many of these items will help put things in prospective and give meaning to you.

Dr. Leta A. Livoti Ph.D, LCSW, LCPC is a psychotherapist in Thompson Falls. She is taking new clients and can be contacted at 827-0700.