PC Police have gone too far!

| June 23, 2020 4:35 PM

First of all, it’s awesome to be back!! I missed writing stories and this column and am really happy to be given the chance to spread a little Kvelve “wisdom and humor” to all of you in this amazing part of the world!

So, let’s get right to it.

I consider myself a fairly laid back, reasonable guy. I am a gabber, a trait I attribute to my Norwegian and Montana background.

It usually takes a lot to stir my feathers, chap my behind or otherwise harsh my buzz. But now they’ve gone and done it!!

“They” in this case are the PC Police, those who are so convinced you and I need their lofty moral guidance to help us get through life as we plod methodically and in march-step to their “greater vision.”

But enough is enough for this Western man!

What is it, you might ask, that has planted such a burr in my saddle? Elmer Fudd!

For those of you who may have missed it, the self-righteous left has now decided that Elmer Fudd, the delightfully inept, bumbling, fumbling and mumbling character who has spent decades trying to “shoot that wascally wabbit,” should no longer have firearm.

Mr. Fudd, I might add, has NEVER actually managed to shoot Bugs Bunny. He has on many occasions managed to blow up his own backside or leave his trademark hunting cap in smoldering ruins, but he has never in my long years of viewing the show caused any harm to the smart-mouthed wabbit with the New Jersey accent.

But the PCP (interesting that the acronym is also associated with a mind-altering drug?) have deemed this “weapon” a harm to children. What next, eliminating Fudd’s tell-tale stuttering laugh because it sounds like a machine gun?

One of the best responses to this insanity was a internet reply that asked if anyone knew Mr. Fudd’s address because the person who posted the message had an “old, black rifle he would like to donate to Elmer” in light of his loss.

In recent days, the PCP have also gone after the movie classic “Gone With the Wind,” a film viewed by hundreds of millions of people, many multiple times. The poor German Shepard in the cartoon “Paw Patrol” is also under fire because the dog….the CARTOON dog….wears a police outfit and is therefore offensive to those who know what’s best for us!

This is what years of sitting in grandma’s basement playing video games produces. Most of those video games, if not all of them, are overloaded with firearms, space weapons and walking dead people with evil intentions who are, of course, shot or blown up.

Mr. Fudd should be so lucky!

If your wig is on that tight, you need to find a way to loosen it! Go fishing or for a nice walk and realize what a great, if not only place this is in which to live!

Up next, no doubt, if no already if play, will be taking away Wile E. Coyote’s access to ACME products. Too dangerous, even though the only thing that dumb coyote ever blew up was himself.

Spinach should be outlawed because it caused a crazed reaction in a sailor who then display massive forearms which he used to beat the snot out of anyone messing with Olive Oyl!!

Oh the inhumanity of it all!!

Who are these people running the entertainment industry that quickly bend and kneel to the whackos seeking these vital corrections to what the great unwashed see?

Possibly the same people who donate to getting rid of police while cowering behind their gated, walled and private security protected forts?

Thanks but no thanks PCP!!! I and most of the people on this planet can think for ourselves!

Elmer Fudd is hilarious!!

You PCPers need therapy!!

Chuck Kvelve Bandel is a reporter for the Mineral Independent and Clark Fork Valley Press. Look for his “Kvelve’s Comments” column weekly.