Hoarding Behavior - Are You Guilty?
Most of us know someone or maybe we ourselves are guilty of saving “stuff” we really have no practical need for, or will never use.
Hoarding can make a house look cluttered or it can become so extreme to the point of disrupting lives. Some people end up living in a house where small paths have to be created to be able to walk around.
Simplified hoarding is about the fear of throwing something away that you might need someday; or that something bad may happen if the item is not kept. People hoard for a variety of reasons: sentimental value, inability to make decisions, lack of organization, over responsibility, perfectionism or control, afraid of forgetting or inability to let go of things. How often do you hear people say "typical, just after I finally threw that item away I found a use for it or needed it a few days later." The following reasons why people hoard are all closely linked, but although similar, they still have distinct differences.
SENTIMENTAL VALUE
Many people that collect for sentimental value feel that items are a part of them and their identity. If they throw the item away they are discarding a part of themselves.
DECISION MAKING
Those with hoarding behavior find it extremely difficult to make decisions and end up avoiding having to make any by keeping everything. They feel that the moment they decide to throw something away they may be making the wrong choice. Not having to make the decision of discarding something literally means that they can't make any mistakes.
LACK OF ORGANIZATION
There is also the difficulty with knowing how to organize objects. These people are not able to store items in a logical fashion. To them a pile of junk may very well be the only way they can sense some control and order.
OVER RESPONSIBLE
Some people have a tendency to feel hyper-responsible for what is happening around them and the people they care for. With hoarding this can result in the accumulation of "just-in-case" objects being carried around with them at all times.
CONTROL/PERFECTION
As one may see in Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), some people have the issue of control/perfectionism. Their thinking is when an item is thrown away, it's gone and will never be found again. The misconception is that the moment one decides to throw something away, they no longer are the person in control and what happens to this item will be in the hands of others.
SCARED OF FORGETTING/PERFECTION
Because of the fear of forgetting and the inability to accept that one can't be in total control, items will be kept, so written/printed material for instance, it can be re-read at all times. The myth is the moment one throws something away, one may forget its content or the way it looked and it will be gone forever.
LETTING GO OF THINGS
Another reason people hoard is the fear of letting go, of moving on.
Learning to let go of things in life is necessary if one wants to experience some sense of freedom. This is difficult for someone with OCD because it means letting go of the control. They feel the moment they throw something away, they are letting go of that specific part of their life, however insignificant it may be.
Next week I will examine some suggestions and treatment for hoarding behavior.
Dr. Leta A. Livoti Ph.D., LCSW, LCPC is a psychotherapist in Thompson Falls. She can be contacted at 827-0700.