Food for Thought: Does worrying help?

Worry is defined as a state of mental and emotional agitation and distress resulting from undue concern over something impended or anticipated.

It involves an uneasiness of mind about a real or imaginary situation or possibility.

Every one experiences worry in some degree of intensity or duration during their life. No one is exempt. Worry affects adults, children, rich, poor, healthy and unhealthy. A momentary worry is not much of a problem. Normal worry can be constructive. It helps focus on a problem so we can figure it out. The trouble comes with how we react to worry.

Most of our worries are based on what will be rather than the reality of what is. The majority of things we worry about are things which we have little or no control over.

Agonizing what might occur and about things we can’t control gives our power away. Thankfully, most of what we worry about seldom occurs.

French philosopher Michel Eyquem de Montaigne wrote in the 1500s “My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened.”

Many people are excellent worriers. They worry about money, the future, their kids, jobs, old age, global events --- you name it. They burn up energy, lower their resistance to illness and actually draw to them what they fear.

How Can You Stop Worrying?

Focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want. Think about desired results and solutions rather than negative outcomes.

Strategies suggested by the Montana Department of Health and Human services include the following:

1. Put your worries in writing. Writing often helps to clarify what you're thinking. In this way you will be more able to spot faulty or illogical thinking.
2. Make sure you know what you are worried about. Try to solve the original problem first before becoming overwhelmed with other worries that spin off from the first problem.
3. Don’t worry about things you can’t control. If you have taken precautionary measures there is little point continuing to worry. Make a back up plan and move on.
4. Put a limit on your worry. Allow yourself 20 minutes a day to worry at a certain appointed time. If you find yourself worrying at other times remind yourself “I can’t worry now. I will wait until my appointed time.
5. Be realistic. Ask yourself “Does this make sense?” “Is this likely to happen?”
6. Get as much information as possible. Knowledge takes the edge off of worry. If you are worried about the weather call for the weather conditions.
7. Think about solutions. You may find it helpful to brain storm and write down all possible solutions listing the merits and disadvantages of each.
8. Divert yourself. Not only does diversion break the worrying cycle, but it actually frees your mind. Often you will find the solution to your problem when you are not worrying about it.
9. Be direct. If you have a concern that someone else is able to answer, ask them. Making assumptions or guessing about your concerns will increase you anxiety and keep you from the information you need.

If these strategies don’t help and you can’t function as well as you think you could, it is time to seek professional help. Our hospitals and cemeteries are full with people who made worry and every day companion.

Don’t you be one of them.

Dr. Leta A. Livoti Ph.D, LCSW, LCPC is a psychotherapist practicing in Thompson Falls. She can be contacted at 827-0700.