St. Regis woman creates Christian-based grief support group

For anyone who has ever lost a loved one, they understand that grief isn’t something that truly goes away, it only changes.

Barbara Gillott of St. Regis can confirm to this, as she lost her husband Fred Gillott back in 2017. But despite the pain that still lingers, she has found God’s peace in her journey as she has navigated the stages of grief and today is using her own experiences to help those in Mineral County face the same.

Gillott shared, “A program I've had on my heart for some time, is now coming to fruition by God’s amazing grace.” Following the death of her spouse, Gillott began spending her winters down south in Florida with her sister. During her time there she found a support group called GriefShare. This Christian and Bible-based program takes participants through a 13-week course covering topics essential to their recovery from the hurt of grief and loss.

“My Fred had been gone almost four years when I went to the first one. I was doing so well, but I learned so much about myself and how I could start a new life alone through these meetings, that God burdened my heart about our people here who are hurting,” expressed Gillott.

She attended the program for grieving people this past fall, and then went to it a second time this winter. Gillott said, “I figured it was so good I probably could go through it again and learn more the second time. I also learned so much about myself going through the process, I feel like I found lots of tools from the program that would have been helpful in other parts of my life as well.”

About a month after her husband passed away, Gillott’s doctor recommended that she may benefit from seeing a psychologist. She reflected, “He was a little concerned that I was doing too well, for having just lost my husband. But one thing to consider is that he doesn’t know the Lord, so it was hard for him to understand when I say that God will take care of me, and that I have peace in that way.”

Gillott was grateful to have found GriefShare while staying in Florida, because now she is using the format of the group to help establish a similar outreach program back home in Montana. Led by the Lord, she felt strongly that those in Mineral County would benefit greatly from having access to a group like this. Gillott noted, “Here in our area we know of so many people who have experienced the death of a spouse, or a child, we hear of lots of overdoses. So many people are going through this and there is really nothing out here to help them.”

She added, “Friends and family try to help, but unless they have lost a beloved one, they cannot understand what you are going through after that loss. Sharing with others who are going through or made it through the worst of it and hearing about things that helped them, makes a big difference. This is something that is badly needed in this and surrounding communities. There are a lot of people out there who are hurting and don’t know where to get help.”

With lots of prayer and the help of others Gillott has formed the basis of Mineral County’s first of its kind, Grief Recovery Program. Classes will be held on Monday nights beginning, August 1, at 6:00 p.m. They will be held in the Lighthouse Baptist Church building, at 305 Main Avenue in Superior. The group will be led Mr. Pat Horn, a member of the Lighthouse Baptist Church.

Gillott said, “The name of the group might change eventually, when you hear the word recovery you often think of addiction, but we want the name to represent the grieving process, like surviving through grief, or living with grief.”

She described the focus of the class is for anyone who has lost a beloved spouse, child, sibling or pet and is going through the grieving process, whether it be a few months or many years.

Gillott has been working through her grief for the past 4 years. For her and Fred, they had the blessing of many decades together, she shared, “We had our 44th anniversary two weeks before he died.” But no matter how long you’ve had with a loved one, it’s never long enough.

For someone who is working through the stages of mourning and the fresh pain of loss whether its recent or many years, Gillott has encouraging words. She acknowledged, “I’d tell them to cry when and wherever they feel like it and not care who sees it. I’d tell them to share their thoughts and feelings with the Lord and other people who have learned how to rebuild their lives. I’d tell them to ask for help and call me or some other person who will really listen when they need to talk or get questions answered. That’s what this program is about.”

For more information on this new group, reach out to Pat Horn at 406-822-4731. And until the meetings start in August Gillott advised, “Summer is here! Go out and enjoy all the things you have missed this winter! Look at the amazing things of nature around you and just take a moment to praise God and thank Him for them!”