Life coach offers advice on keeping resolutions for 2023

2023 – A new year, a new you! Or at least that’s the customary motto every January. According to a 2016 study, of the 41 percent of Americans who made New Year’s resolutions, by the years end only a dismal nine percent felt they were successful in keeping them.

Of those who make a New Year’s resolution, after just one week 75 percent are still successful in keeping it. At two weeks in, the number drops to 71 percent. After only one month, the number drops again to 64 percent.

The top 10 most common New Year’s Resolutions are: exercise more, lose weight, get organized, learn a new skill or hobby, live life to the fullest, save more money/spend less money, quit smoking, spend more time with family and friends, travel more, and read more.

So why is the failure rate so high for these life improving ambitions?

In a 2014 study, 35 percent of participants who failed their New Year’s Resolutions said they had unrealistic goals. 33 percent of participants who failed also didn’t keep track of their progress. 23 percent simply forgot all about their resolutions. And roughly one in 10 people who failed said they made too many resolutions.

St. Regis resident and Professional Life Coach, Kelly Morrison provided some useful guidance and wisdom in the area of making and keeping resolutions for 2023. She stated, “A goal is simply a target. One must have a defined target. One does not shoot an arrow and then rush down and paint a target around it. Without defined goals how will you know if you've hit the target?” Morrison explained that having a clearly defined goal is simply looking in the direction you wish to go and establishing a vision of your desired outcome or destination.

She nudged, “Let's just look at a goal as a WHAT. What do I want to do? What do I want to have? What do I want to let go of? What do I want to create/build? What do I want to achieve?”

Those questions can be applied to numerous areas of our lives, such as work, finances, health, relationships, or parenting. For example, someone chose to have a resolution of improving their finances, a recommendation would be too narrow in your target goal. The focus should be on what in your financial needs changed, like create and stick to a budget, pay of X amount of debt, or reach a certain line in your emergency fund. Don’t be too broad in your approach.

Morrison expressed, “I encourage and guide people to dial in to their WHY. Your deeper WHY naturally becomes your motivator. Your WHY easily guides your decisions. Your WHY clearly targets your energy. Your WHY instinctively directs your energy. Connecting to your deep WHY will easily keep you plugged in and also give you a touchstone when your vision or energy may wander.”

She added, “If one's WHY is simply the date, January first, perhaps this explains how motivation and dedication can wane away.” Sometimes expectations are too far-fetched and impossible to meet. Morrison remarked, “Then, not only do we feel defeated, we lose trust with ourselves. We can begin to simply not believe ourselves when we set goals or create a vision. Our inner critic can get loud, reminding us of the times we tried before and "failed".

If that destructive pattern sounds familiar, Morrison suggested, “Try setting very small, manageable goals as you rebuild trust with yourself. Connecting deeply to your WHY is essential to creating a pattern of trustworthiness with yourself.”

Once you have defined your target, goal, or vision, it is time to dial in to your WHY. Morrison shared, “For example, my goal is to go for a walk every day. My deep, down, dialed in WHY is that I remember how sedentary my parents became and I want to be able to easily go for walks with my kids and grandkids.”

She continued “Then, when faced with a choice, for example, sit on the couch or go for a walk, I can call to mind my deeper WHY. I can ask, "how does sitting on the couch help me be more able to go for walks with my kids/grandkids?" My choice becomes clear.”

Morrison explains that the next motivator is identifying your HOW. But surprisingly she noted, “I'm not talking about action steps, those will reveal themselves easily and naturally.” Rather, she said, “Ask yourself, "HOW do I want to FEEL in my life? In my relationship? At my job? With my children? About my finances?"

Then at that point she offered, when faced with a choice, you should be able to easily identify and align your decisions with how you want to feel. Morrison expressed, “For example, I want to feel strong as I walk. I want to feel happy and connected with my grandkids. I want to feel appreciation for my body. I want to feel gratitude for the beauty of nature. Now, when faced with the choice of sitting on the couch or going for a walk, I can ask myself, "How will I feel if I sit on the couch? How will I feel if I go for a walk?" Again, Morrison compelled that the choice is quite made clear.

Lastly form a strategy, but leave room for grace. She acknowledged, “Plan for "failure". Give yourself permission to make progress. Give yourself permission to do it imperfectly……notice what works for you and what doesn't. Plan ahead to make adjustments as needed. Plan ahead to practice determination.”

Find ways to refocus and realign yourself with your WHY, your HOW and your WHAT when life throws you off track. Morrison recommended, “Perhaps it is a simple affirmation, just something that gets you unstuck, such as, "I am able to start again any time I choose." Or perhaps, "I forgive myself for losing focus. I am able to easily get back on track." Ultimately, she added, “The reality is that every day is the start of a new week, a new month, a new year, a new you.”

Life Coach, Kelly Morrison provides vision board playshops for adults and kids. During them she said, “I can help you identify your WHY and your HOW that will help you reach your WHAT.”

Morrison also offers Wisdom Walks, the first Tuesday of the month, starting February 7th, one at 9 a.m. and one at 4 p.m. at the Saint Regis Park. A Wisdom Walk is an opportunity to move your body gently and connect to your inner wisdom.

To contact her, find her Facebook Page: Kelly Morrison, Coaching, Training, Retreats, Playshops to discover events, classes, retreats, and services available. Or reach out to Morrison at 206-300-5972.