COLUMN: Jock Talk

As the “civic-minded” — not to be confused with “simple-minded” — public servant I am, I thought it would be good to provide a simple guide to “Sports Terms, aka Jock Talk” for those who may be as confused about this strange language associated with games.

The urge to do this guide was inspired during my two-plus hours of glorious sunshine and baseball while covering the Troy at Plains-Hot Springs high school baseball game Saturday afternoon.

There was a good, energetic group of fans at Amundson Sports Complex, reveling in the sunshine and 70-plus temperatures while the Trojans and Savage-Horsemen battled it out on the diamond.

And I’m not meaning to pick on baseball, a sport which holds a special place in my newly repaired heart. Every sport has its own catch-phrases and sayings, but good old baseball seems to be on a different plane when it comes to verbal intricacies.

For example, the basic term “diamond” refers, of course, to the shape of the four corners of the infield. Most ballparks are actually fan-shaped places spreading out from home plate, but ‘baseball diamond” gives the game that regal touch.

The actual real estate on which a baseball field is constructed, is often referred to as a ballpark, or a ball yard, among other things.

The ball yard phrase is where the term “going yard” comes from. It does not mean you are going to volunteer to cut the outfield grass, that’s best left to the professionals. “Going yard” in this case means you hit the baseball out of the park, or yard as it may be.

See, this isn’t so complicated after all.

Now, in the middle of this “diamond” is a raised, domed-shaped pile of dirt, known most commonly as the pitcher’s “mound”. The guy who gets to throw a hard ball in your direction with sometimes mind-bending velocity, gets to stand on the mound, much in the same manner a judge’s bench is raised above the floor of the courtroom. It adds to the sense of power.

This “mound” is also often referred to as the “bump” or the “hill”. In the middle of the dome of clay and dirt is a rectangular piece of rubberized material known as the “rubber”. It gives the pitcher additional leverage to cause maximum damage to the human body when the “hurler”, aka pitcher, “winds and fires”. Those phrases all combine to describe the act of throwing the baseball toward the batter.

The batter is trapped between chalk-lined rectangular boxes known appropriately as the batter’s box. You dare not step out of those boxes, unless the ball is incoming toward your cranium, lest you risk the wrath of the umpire, also known as “blue” for the blue shirts and slacks they normally wear while ensuring the rules of this simple game are followed to the letter.

On those occasions when the batter connects with the incoming ball, the variety of descriptive phrases runs amok. If, for example, he hits a lazy fly ball that is easily caught by one of the fielders, those events are typically described as “bloops”. Out of that comes a myriad of TV shows based on “comical” events known as “bloopers”.

If the batter hits a hard line drive that whizzes past the infielders and dives quickly into the outfield grass for a “safe hit”, the trajectory of such the ball is known as a “frozen rope”. A high fly ball that is caught by the outfielder is known as a “can of corn”, a reference to the act of using a stick to bring down an actual can of corn from the high shelves of turn of the century grocery stores. There it is, it’s coming right to you, it's like a “can of corn”.

If the ball is hit hard enough and leaves the “yard”, baseball purists will often shout “touch em all”, a reference to the batter touching all the bases after he has gone yard.

Going yard can also be described as a “round-tripper” or a “dinger”.

Now, if the batter has a really good day and hits a single, a double (aka two-bagger), a triple (three-bagger) and goes yard, that is known as hitting for the cycle. It does not mean the batter wins a cycle, it just means he has every kind of safe hit you can get in a ball game.

On his or her way around third after a “round-tripper” the batter passes the “hot corner”, an alternative phrase to describe third base. Third base is the same distance from home plate as is first base, but there are more right handed hitters who hit “screaming meemies” down the third baseline than there are on the other side of the diamond.

The number of times members of each team “safely” touch home plate during a game is where the term “runs” comes from, it has nothing to do with the after-affects of eating hot dogs that have been floating in their own water for days.

Fans are not immune from these baseball terms either. If you can’t afford a seat in the infield area of the ballpark, you are often relegated to the “cheap seats”, most often in the outfield and sometimes, in the early days of ball parks, with a roof-supporting metal pole that requires playing peek-a-boo with the game on the field.

Those fans with insider trading fortunes, however, are housed in weather proof “luxury” boxes. The “boxes” are rooms most often behind home plate and they are filled with food and beverages and waiters/waitresses to comfort those who can afford such “luxuries”.

It all comes together to create the baseball viewing experience. There are many more such terms and it’s not limited to baseball. In basketball, a ball shot from the “charity” stripe (aka free throw line) that does not touch the rim on it’s way through the hoop is said to “tickle the twines”. The twines of the net, which is woven from string to form a twine.

Football has its own language also, including “pick six”, the phrase assigned to the act of intercepting a pass from the opposing team and returning it for a touchdown, or, six points.

All of these things add to the color and excitement of the game.

It’s kind of like trying to figure out what the letters and numbers on some vehicle license plates translate into and look how much fun that can be.