Kvelve's Comments: Lace 'em up

It is what could be described as an insidious problem, or a silly one.

I’m talking about the crisis in keeping sneakers and other forms of athletic shoes tied snuggly to the feet of wearers of athletic footwear. 

Over the past five years I have observed what seems like an expanding issue involving player timeouts while the laces are snugged up. 

Nothing like a loose shoe to alter one’s athletic performance, I guess. 

But I think the issue can be traced to the habit, which I can only assume is born of laziness, where leaving your shoes untied was, and still is, considered cool. 

Perhaps it’s the ultimate form of rebellion, not lacing them up.  Like sagging and bagging was to pants several years ago (thank God that seems to be a fad that is fading from view, unless you are an aspiring plumber). 

I always looked on untied laces as the ultimate trip hazard, not a cool thing to do.  Not only can your shoe fall off, leaving your toes unprotected during a game, but it can also cause yet another delay in the action. 

Referees have no choice, I guess, other than to halt the action as fans, players and coaches watch the unlaced struggle to become the laced.  It could be that having a bunch of eyes watching you struggle with shoelaces increases the skill required to tie them up. 

I’ve watched several games over the years during which playground to a halt while one, or more, players fumble with their laces.  I would be an advocate of having three or more lace tying episodes in one game by one player result in some kind of penalty. 

When you were an infant, tying your shoes was always, in my days at least, a sign that “our little boy is growing up”. Good job little Charley, what a fine boy you are! 

It’s not like tying the shoes is rocket science, but it if were, Elon Musk, he of rocket science fame, would have mastered the art or lacing before he walked. 

The rabbit goes around the tree, over the fence and down the hole is a time-worn phrase of assistance for tying a necktie, which in my opinion requires much more skill. 

In typical human fashion, a necktie, and also pairs of shoes, can be unnecessary thanks to the miracle of Velcro.  And there are several brands of shoes out there that have eliminated laces, bragging all you have to do is step in and go. 

If there is a bright side to this dark issue, it is that usually, and I say usually in air quotes, the act of tying a shoe at midcourt or midfield does not take all that long. 

I know in some sports like football, the laces on cleats are often covered with tape to keep them from coming undone. 

Great idea, but likely impractical for indoor hardwood floors. 

Lace 'em up boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen.  Tie them tight. Double knot the bow if that helps. 

Your feet will thank you.  If flair is what you are seeking in the art of shoe tying, try throwing the arms skyward in celebration of your victory as done by calf ropers. 

A shoelace is a terrible thing to waste!